Guilt free parenting

Share This:

There are a lot of babies in my life right now – seven people, including me, have had a baby within the last few months.  Our family is on baby number three, but some of these families are on baby number one.  This means baby showers and games where you give the new parents advice about being a parent.  This is hard because you have so many decisions to make as a parent, and there is some pretty crazy advice out there. Should I use formula or breastfeed? Should I use cloth or disposable diapers? Should I vaccinate my child? Should I spank my child?  Should I home school, send my kids to public school, or Christian school? A friend shared this video with me and it couldn’t explain all of these questions any better!

 

 

Here is the thing, God made us all different, so each family is going to be different.  What works for me may not work for you.  The best advice I could give new parents is do what is best for your family. If it works for your family to eat cereal for supper every Tuesday because of soccer practice and there is a lot to pack in, do it!  If your family needs to sit in the back of the church because of rowdy kids, do it!  If your 18 month old has to sleep with you so that everyone in your household can get some sleep, do it!  Do not feel guilty for trying new things and see how they work.  You must do things that work for your family.  If an unusual approach keeps you from flying apart and helps your sanity, there is no reason to feel guilty.  This is the reason there are so many different ideas and approaches in parenting…  We all have special family characteristics and in makes our communities rich and colorful.

Let’s face it, being a parent is extremely hard.  Every child is different, and they do not come with instructions. I was in the pediatrician’s office with my youngest for her sixth month check up and the doctor said to me, “you are doing a good job”.  It was such balm to a tired mamma’s soul.  Just hearing the affirmation that I was doing a good job meant so much to me.  I realized how important is it is to encourage and build up other parents. This is the perfect quote to describe parenting:

Behind every great kid

kaden blog pic

 

is a mom who’s pretty sure

Jordyn blog pic

 

she’s screwing it up.

 

Harper smile

 

We are so hard on ourselves.  In reality, things really will be okay.  You ARE doing a good job. You WON’T fly apart. God has a plan for your beautiful family!  Don’t feel like you have to listen to everyone and their advice.  Pick what works for your family, enjoy your kiddos, and maybe you can be the person in other’s lives who builds them up.

Mindy Hadley, on behalf of the Quakerdale team.

#MakingADifferenceQ
#ConnectIt – #ExtendingLife – #LifeLongImpact

What is Your Marathon?

Share This:

“Here’s how you run a marathon. Step one:  you start running.  There is no step two.”

Barney Stinson, How I Met Your Mother

26.2 medal

I AM not a runner.  I DO coach basketball for a living, drink way too much Mountain Dew, and listen to Taylor Swift.  I am wired to set huge goals and take abnormally large risks.  So when my wife asked me to join her in her quest to run the San Francisco marathon, I quoted a modern day philosopher—Barney Stinson (see above quote) and then took the plunge.

“The race is not given to the swift, nor to the strong…”

“…but to those who endure to the end.”

Taken at face value, the commonly misinterpreted and combined Bible reference of verses from Ecclesiastes 9 and Matthew 24 certainly fueled some of my training and preparation.

Long story short, we endured—All 26.2 miles.

Cue the Rocky theme song music and the constant buzzing of our phones as the congratulatory text messages and comments via social media poured in.

But now my left foot hurts.  Seriously, like…it’s hard to walk and I could have a major issue type of hurt.  And some of my toenails are going to fall off.  I feel like I got hit by a train.  And now I am thinking about my right hip, sheesh…the list goes on.  And my wife, I know she has her own pains.

But guess what? We have a medal and a memory.  Not to mention an accomplishment that less 0.5% of the population can say they have achieved.  We have a pair of little eyes—our two year old—who saw how we endured and battled to overcome the face of difficulty and complete our goal.  I’ll limp to that!

Leadership is about accomplishing things in a way that inspires others.   Will my son or my boss or you ever sign up to run a marathon just because I did? Probably not.

But instead, I want you and everyone who knows my journey to finish the impossible task they have before them.  I ran the race for my team, for my son, and I certainly ran the race for me, but I also did it for you.  I did it so you could:

  • Complete your degree and grow the industry you are passionate about
  • Raise your unruly toddlers to the kind, caring, thoughtful leaders God created them to be
  • Get out of debt and live financially free
  • Restore your broken relationships and create wonderful memories

I did it so you could push past your limits and see a change in yourself.  I did it to say that I finished and then tell you that you can too.  Ultimately, I did it for the domino effect.

A crucial aspect of inspiring others and leaving a legacy is setting a goal and executing it to the finish.  When we signed up for the San Francisco Marathon back in November, we had no real idea what we would feel like in preparation, in route, or at the finish line.  But we kept moving forward—and we did it!  Some of you may think we accomplished what is impossible.  Heck, at mile 23, I thought it was impossible.  If we would have stopped there, what would be changed?  Who would be moved?  Instead, we kept going.  There are other aspects of our life that have been “impossible” –but we kept going.  There are things that you’ve done—and that you are going to do—that seem impossible…but you’ll keep going.  The most successful people and the true leaders, who can make a real difference in people’s lives, just don’t quit.  They keep moving forward.

If you stumbled upon this post and feel you can relate, I know two things about you.  You want to make a difference and you are not going to quit until you do.  You’ll keep moving forward.  Email me and let me know how you’re doing it. (djohnston@quakerdale.org)

I look forward to seeing the growth of others because of my race.  I look forward to hearing your story of conquering the impossible.  Be sure to #RiseUp, leave a legacy, and let me know if you ever need anything!

–Coach DJ

Program Leader
Quakerdale Basketball